Distance
by PunkPinkPower
Summary: Lauren tries to reconcile the person she thought Jayden would be with who he actually is. And then they watch some movies.


It was weird, trying to get to know someone you'd spent so long looking forward to meeting. Without intending to, Lauren had formed in her mind her own version of Jayden- what she expected him to sound like, what she expected him to look like, how she expected his humor to be, how she expected him to fight. And then when they'd finally met, there really hadn't been time to break herself of those preconceived ideas of who he was, what with all the leaving, and the Nighlocks, and the possible end of the world.

So after, when everything settles down, and Lauren eventually moves into the Shiba house with Jayden and Ji, it leaves her in a weird place.

Almost everything she'd imagined about him is wrong. And now she has time to realize it.

His hair is… different. It's certainly not the bowl cut of the little boy she left behind all those years ago, but she certainly hadn't expected it to be hanging into his eyes. And he's taller than her, too, which maybe puts her off a little as the older sibling. When Jayden makes a joke, it sometimes takes her a moment to realize it. She can't seem to figure out whether this is because her own humor has turned out so warped after spending so much time alone, or if Jayden just isn't very funny. It's a difficult distinction. And sometimes, there's this awkwardness between them, like too much has gone unsaid for too long, and they're both unwilling to bridge the gap, to talk to one another about things they should.

What hurts the most, probably, is that she'd expected him to be okay. She'd expected Jayden to be a whole human being, someone who could wrap her up in his light, in his warmth, and help fix her. She hadn't expected to find someone just as broken as she was, someone who was hoping that she could help fix him.

And she doesn't know why she'd expected that part, for Jayden to have been alright. Maybe it wasn't that she expected it… maybe it was that she had hoped. She had hoped that Jayden had at least gotten to live a life while waiting for her. She had spent countless hours imagining what his life might be like… and then to find out it had been a shadow, a mirror of her own lonely existence…

Maybe that's why there's such distance between them now.

_It's not a long distance_, she thinks to herself, listening to Jayden play his guitar that Ji had given him across the hall. It's a distance that can be bridged, she just knows it.

She goes across the hallway to his room, where the door is open, and leans against his doorframe. She watches him for a moment before lifting her hand to knock to catch his attention.

Jayden looks up, smiles. "Hey," she greets, taking the guitar off his knee and setting it down.

"You don't have to stop," she says, waving a hand and going into the room a little bit. "You're getting really good."

"Antonio says I'm still terrible," Jayden says, amused. "But I think he's kidding."

He shifts, pats the spot on the bed next to him for her to sit down. Lauren lets her lips shift into a comfortable grin, and goes to sit by him.

"What are you up to?" He wonders, strumming a few more times on the guitar.

She considers for a moment. "Just thinking," she says, trying to sound casual.

"About?" Jayden wonders, and he glances over at her out of the corner of his eye, in the deceptively casual covert way of his that must be a consequence of living in close quarters with his team for two years.

"You, mostly," Lauren lets herself admit. "And me. Us, in general."

Jayden chuckles. "So, nothing important?"

Lauren frowns at him, and he turns his head a little, and when she sees the smile she realizes, of course, he's being sarcastic. She grins. "I just… I want us to be friends."

"We are friends," Jayden says, his voice sounding concerned, and this time he does stop playing the guitar.

"Yeah," she agrees, and she plays with her fingers in her lap, uncomfortable. "I was just thinking about all the time we lost," she continues. "I mean, there's so much we hardly know about each other. I don't know your favorite food, or your favorite movie, or what you dream about."

Jayden tilts his head, a thoughtful look on his face. "Sushi, _The Avengers_, and world peace."

Lauren double takes, shakes her head a little, and then laughs. Jayden smiles widely. "That's not entirely… what I was getting at."

Jayden shrugs. "But it's a start."

And Lauren smirks, thinks for a moment. "Baked Potato with all the toppings, _Gone with the Wind_, and you. I dreamt about you a lot."

And instead of getting sentimental at her, Jayden scoffs. "_Gone with the Wind_?" He asks, looking surprised. "Have you _seen_ _The Avengers_?"

Lauren reaches out, shoves his shoulder lightly. "Have you seen _Gone with the Wind_?"

"Touché," Jayden agrees, laughing. "Maybe we should fix that."

_Gone with the Wind_ is considerably longer than _The Avengers_, and Jayden complains that there aren't enough explosions. After they watch _The Avengers_, Jayden looks amused when Lauren asks if they can watch the prequel movie about Black Widow and Hawkeye.

"What?" He wonders.

"Budapest," she supplies, waving a hand, and for some reason, this makes Jayden burst out laughing.

When they go to bed, Jayden stops outside their bedroom doors. "We have plenty of time to get to know each other," he says, reaching out and putting a hand on her shoulder. "And we are friends. And you're my sister. And I love you."

Jayden was definitely better as social interaction than she was. Sometimes his sincerity caught her off guard. But she reaches up, puts her hand over his on her shoulder, and says "I love you, too, Jayden."

And that night, when she goes to bed, she doesn't worry about it so much. Instead, she dreams of Jayden, of what he'll be like in a few years, of what their eventual families will be like, their husbands and wives, their children, their holiday celebrations together. She thinks about her own parents, and how much they loved her and Jayden, and how happy they'd be to know that everything had turned out okay.

And even if they weren't perfect, even if things still needed work, and there was still fixing to do, for both of them, they could do it together. And Lauren dreams about that.


End file.
